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In Western cultures, there is a commonly-held belief that sexual desire is a drive, like hunger and thirst. That desire is a spontaneous, urgent experience that must be fulfilled. We see you, Wuthering Heights But. That is just the culture’s idea of sexual desire. I talk to a lot of folks who believe they must have spontaneous, out-of-the-blue, spark-y desire, that this is The One True Way, but good news; we're humans, we're unique, and we all work differently from one