there's no mood-killer quite like “should”

A lot of folks believe that the path to better sex, The Best Sex™️, is by learning how to do that one amazing thing that will blow any partner's mind.

Oh, if only it were that easy. 😮‍💨

Sexual skills matter, but, not more than any other skill in sex. And tbh, most sex education coaching is actually communication coaching, and that includes the conversations we have with ourselves. 

My clients, all of them, come to me with limiting beliefs about what they should! and should not! be doing sexually. And there's always at least one exclamation mark on their should statements, because these are almost always STRONG beliefs. 🗣️

For example, you may believe that you should! come with your partner at the same time.

Or, that you shouldn't! use a sex toy during sex because that means there's something wrong with the sex you're having.

But, in the words of one of my mentors Roz, don't ‘should’ all over yourself! You get to design the sex life you want, and if anything is cramping your sexual style, it's time to check in with your personal shoulds and shouldn'ts. 

(And if you need some help with that, it's one of my favorite things to work on with my coaching clients!)